It's a good story, but is it a joke? The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! What’s the difference between Batman and a Scouser? The barman said " Ive never seen you act so violently before, what did that guy say to you ? " 'Perfect' Primark loungewear shoppers are rushing to buy ahead of second lockdown, Primark fans say its loungewear is perfect for "cosy nights in", Atalanta vs Liverpool - Score and highlights after Diogo Jota hat-trick and Mohamed Salah and Sadio Mane goals. From things overheard in the chippy to some absolute gold from Scouse nans, these are the moments that show Scousers really have got the best sense of humour around. Three Americans and three scousers are travelling by train. - Helen Cox, "Some fella proudly farting in the waiting room in the old Walton hospital. The train departs. Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her. Morons. They obviously didn't like him as one said to the other 'he is a waste of space. It had two ways of getting into it  - one door on the side and one in the front. They break down and start hitching a lift. I said to him 'what's up mate?' Here's our original list of some of the funniest things overheard in Liverpool - let us know of any others you've heard in the comments section. TOBE 10 TOBE ... We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. Pity there wasn't a good punch line at the end of the call, but funny stuff. By TOBE, December 14, 2008 in General Conversation. Everton transfer news and updates including the latest on Andre Gomes, Isco, Arkadiusz Milik, Samuel Chukwueze, Emerson Royal and more. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. A: So they ain't mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women. "Oh, Christ I wasn't aware of that, thanks". Well most people do not realise that Liverpool is hugely stereotyped and is actually one of the nicest places you can live. The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls. Liverpool player ratings as Diogo Jota outstanding along with Sadio Mane and Joe Gomez, Liverpool beat Atalanta 5-0 in Italy with a hat-trick from Diogo Jota as well as goals from Sadio Mane and Mohamed Salah in what was a brilliant performance from Jurgen Klopp's men, Everton fans give verdict on Carlo Ancelotti's Jordan Pickford and Robin Olsen decision. I just remember the first woman laughing so hard she banged her head on the seat in front of her" - Les Sharratt, "Coming home on the number 10 bus packed out. Some great Scouse jokes. I am proud of being a scouser though :) . "Watch" answers a scouser. Someone shouted 'if it was a pie youd have caught it'" - Paul Mason, "I was at the Everton game once an this proper sweet little old lady started goin mad at the ref behind me an shouted 'OH YOU BLOODY DIPSTICK'. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please". Woman: Perfect timing. Thank You So much Sharing this post, JT: Sure if you think pedophilia is funny. Whether they were overheard at the match, on the bus, or in the chippy, these are guaranteed to get you smiling, From sunrise to sunset, get the big stories in the Echo newsletter. Popcorned1, city of culture now thats a joke gity of doliets more like! What's long, scouse, and goes around corners? Mine was meant to be a joke too, you know "calm down calm down" wave your hands up and down type thing? 100 of the funniest short jokes and one-liners. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve. You need to be a member in order to leave a comment. He dashes into the players lounge and phones his mother to tell her all about it. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester more... Q: How many Scousers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: One, but 200 had to apply for the job. She replied 'oh no can't have anything too sad or I will cry my eyes out'" - Kita Dickinson, "In hospital a cleaner was mopping a ward floor when in walked a priest, the cleaner said 'you may be a man of the cloth, but you can't walk on MY water!'" We decided to take a look back at some of the funniest one-liners or cutting put downs you sent in for our list. I am one of the people that hate Liverpool. The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls. - Julie Gordon, "I was on the 12 bus few years ago and the woman in front was having a conversation and goes 'me daughter got a cheese burger yesterday, it's like a plain one but with cheese' to this day I still remember it and it still makes me giggle" - Tom Neill, "In Tesco, Litherland, a shop assistant to a young female shopper, 'That’s a nice tan, where have you been? scouse bastards aint gunna win a thing this year gunna av 2 sack the cleaner only ting left to dust is the photos of the beatles! "Hey Manc, I hear your David Beckham is a transvestite poof"! All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three scousers buy only a single ticket. Back in February, we asked readers to send in some of the funniest things they've ever seen or overheard in Liverpool - and their responses did not disappoint. Or as I call my brother-in-law "leeching scum" ;). ', "I nearly fell over laughing" - Mark Davies, "In the Asda I overheard two older ladies '...and I've told him before Sue, you can't Febreeze your undies" - Christina Bishton, "Woman came into the photo shop I was working in and asked do we repair cameras as hers had got wet taken pictures of her granddaughter with the Olympic torch. Will Home Bargains, B&M, Wilko and The Range close in lockdown? Shortly afterward, one of the scousers leaves his toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Americans are hiding. Morons. "Oh, Rigobert"...she squeals....."....I am so pleased and proud of you, at last you are playing for a great team......they may not be as great as they once were, but I hear they have won the European Cup four times. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" "You know them charity people that try and stop you? They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. He went up to the bar and saw my friend's dad behind the bar and said 'Bloody hell mate how many pubs do you own around here?'" It is just a bit of banter...when I am not in Liverpool I am used to all the scouse jokes. Man looks at me and says 'I don't even know her'. The son replied 'If you don't let me go to football, I will tell dad about you weeing in the bucket last night'. Even tho I didn't know who a Scouse was at the start, those were some really good jokes. You can unsubscribe at any time. The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya more... Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. He walked over to the United fan and tapped him on the shoulder. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. Not sure if this is the place for em but i found a couple of goodens. ", How we let you talk us into coming and living in Liverpool, I'll never know....". All non-essential retailers must close under new national lockdown rules from Thursday, Gary Lineker makes Diogo Jota admission about Liverpool front three. All top jokes there lads lets av sum more eh! "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. LOL I wasnt sure what a scouse was to begin with either but you get the general idea pretty quick. An United fan, a Scouser and a Chinese man are in the hospital maternity ward. Its the minder to a billionaires nymphomaniac teenage daughter. Diogo Jota shakes Liverpool foundations and must make Wolves angry, Diogo Jota scores brilliant hat-trick to continue blistering start as Liverpool defeat Atalanta 5-0 in the Champions League, Jordan Pickford, Robin Olsen and Carlo Ancelotti's Everton goalkeeper rotation assessed, In our latest Royal Blue podcast, our panel discussed the potential of Everton to rotate their goalkeeping options over the course of the season following Robin Olsen's strong debut against Newcastle, Man who flicked ex-partner in the face convicted of assault, He flicked her in the eyes and mouth leaving her in "uncomfortable pain", Brother with 'heart of gold' lay down on friend's sofa and never woke up, Popular Terry Dunn, 49, had spent his last hours with his friend before complaining of chest pains and lying down to get some sleep, Drug dealer stopped on M6 with 30kg of cocaine worth over £4m, Thomas Cave, from Speke, had picked up 30kg of the Class A drug on the sout coast, Liverpool infection rate falls again but deaths mount in city hospitals, There is some positive news in the numbers - but the situation in Liverpool's hospitals is serious, Woman in her 60s rushed to hospital after being hit by car, The accident happened just before 1pm when then woman was reportedly hit by a Vauxhall Corsa.

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